Emily Gordon writes:

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for: the top entries in our punctuation correspondence contest, which surpassed even our own usually fanciful expectations. Here are the Emdashes staff picks for the top entries in the contest. We tried to keep it to our top five, but we were unsuccessful.

Shortly after this is posted, Ben Greenman, whose book What He’s Poised to Do will be personally punctuated and signed for the contest winner, will make the final choice/s. (There may be a runner-up.) In the meantime, enjoy these winning (for they are all decidedly winning) letters to marks famous and internet-famous. And feel free to continue to submit entries for your own and our amusement!

EMILY’S PICKS:

1)
Dear Colon:

Did you like how I used a colon after your name? I did that on
purpose. I like you a lot. Do you like me? Please check yes or no

_ yes
_no

I need you to come to my house. Here’s why: my husband and I have a
nephew. His name is Colin. We love Colin very much but for some reason
whenever my husband writes his name, he write Colon. I’m not sure what
bothers me more: The misuse of your name or the incorrect spelling of
his sister’s child.

Between you and me, I know the difference. I also know about the whole
“body part” thing. I refuse to denigrate you by talking about that.

Just know this: every list I make, every point I make, I’m thinking of you.

Love:
Fadra (continued)