The Island is out soon, and it's got everything you want in a movie, like:

• Scarlett Johansson's lips! Moist and kissable, though you won't have to see more actual kissing than you can handle. Good (short) introduction to the tongue concept.
  
• Ewan McGregor with an accent you can understand (for most of the movie, anyway). Don't worry, he keeps his clothes on.
  
• LOTS of running. So many chase scenes, dizzying heights, and explosions you'll lose count, and an awesome sneak peek at the video game.
  
• Pretty explicit surgeries.
  
• A crabby lunch lady with messy hair and 1950s glasses.
  
• A whole bunch of high-tech vehicles, like sort-of-futuristic cars with really slow automatic doors, regular helicopters, and flying motorcycles. Also cool sky-rails and stuff from Metropolis, Back to the Future Part II, and lots of other movies. Don't forget about Blade Runner and Tron!
  
• A bad guy who collects modern art.
  
• A sweet handgun case.
  
• An extended gag about a fat guy who thinks (mistakenly!) that his normal buddy might be gay.
  
• Steve Buscemi's crazy boxer shorts.
  
• Little mechanical spiders that crawl into your eyes and scan your cortex. Then you pee them out. Ow, dude!!
  
• Scarlett's long blonde hair, which is always perfectly arranged like on the poster. And her face never gets scuffed like Ewan's. Actually, she looks kinda like Pam Anderson here, but younger and way less fake.
  
• A funny misunderstanding about "taking a dump."
  
• Whenever there's love stuff, a choir sings and a whole bunch of light bursts from behind their heads so they sort of glow, especially Scarlett.
  
• A cold-blooded, mean black killer, who luckily has a soft heart for tears and a searing memory of his tribal past.
  
• Some really cool products, which you'll see a bunch of times because their brand names are printed really big.
  
• Hardly any gushy character development or dumb female initiative.
  
• Lots of puzzling plot holes for you and your friends to analyze for weeks afterwards.
  
• Two words: white jumpsuits.

Best of all, you can get in! It's rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of violence and action, some sexuality and language," but that "some" is really pushing it. As for language, most of it is either science-y stuff or Ewan yelling "Run! Come on! Run!" Sometimes Scarlett goes "Look out!" They made this movie just for you, so beg your parents now to let you see it as soon as it comes out. Comes out. Heh.