Here's my relationship to eBay: I bid on things other people don't know to want (the lesser-known esoterica of Milton Klonsky, Lester Gaba's soap-carving oevre, books by my great-grandmother). That means the auctions stay under $10, and on the rare occasions I bid, I always win. So when I want something this badly, it's almost a shock that there are other people in line driving up the price beyond poet-critic-blogger capacity. This, of course, is no ordinary auction: It's the first issue of The New Yorker, February 21, 1925, and I can't have it. (The reason I haven't been posting about it since it went up: selfishly hoarding just in case.) For skeptics, the seller has posted this exchange:

Q: Is this the original or the reprint of the original? What are the entries on the copyright page?

A: This is not a reproduction, but is one of the few, if not the only first issue extant, or in private hands, I think, unless Peter Fleischman or his heirs has one. I'm not sure what the questioner means by the entries on the copyright page, but here's a try: There is a box lower left on page 30 headed The New Yorker. It goes on to say "The New Yorker is published every Tuesday by the F-R Publishing corp. 25 West 45th Street. H. W. Ross, president; Raoul Fleischman, vice-president; Robert W. Collins, secretary and treasurer. Etc., etc. If the questioner is asking about other things appearing on that page, above the box mentioned there are two columns of classifieds headed "Where to Shop" with a drawing of a Rolls Royce and people with packages, and a column to their right called "Jottings About Town," and under it "A New York Dictionary." Does this answer the questions?

And, with the description, a note on the origin:

First issue of “the New Yorker” magazine, February 21, 1925, with Rea Irvin’s famous cover, reproduced (somewhat) annually. Cover nearly separated with some soilure. Inside somewhat faded, but unblemished otherwise. 32 pages, 8 1/2 “ x 12”

Note: since this item has been posted the cover has separated. This issue is guaranteed to be the 1st issue, not a 1953 reproduction or reprint. Originally owned by New York artist Alexander Brook.

There are 10 hours left in the auction (currenly at $200; starting bid $50), and if you win, email me. I'll come over and, solemnly, salute. No, not you, you spendy monster, the magazine. Good luck, and remember the power of the barter. Just something to keep in mind.

Update: It's still at $200. Six hours left. Heretofore unknown wealthy great-uncle waiting for the right moment to contact me with the combination for the top-secret safe containing my rightful fortune, perhaps now would be a good time?

Update update: $205. If there's the usual last-second pillowfight, who knows how the feathers will fly?