Please forgive me, Frank Harrell of Why My Blog Is Better. I must quote your entire post, because I love it so. Links are links to things I've posted about Martin before. In all fairness, I think we should note that despite questionable thespian decisions, Martin has achieved excellence on the banjo and gave lots of dough to the Huntington Library.

Steve Martin: Intervention

Stevie, listen carefully. This is for your own good.

In the past ten years, Bill Murray has made the following movies: Broken Flowers. The Life Aquatic. Lost in Translation. The Royal Tenenbaums. Rushmore.

In the past ten years, YOU, Steve Martin, have made the following movies: Cheaper by the Dozen. Cheaper by the Dozen 2. Shopgirl. Bringing Down the House. Bowfinger. The Out of Towners. Your upcoming movie, The Pink Panther, has had its release date postponed twice in the past nine months. Even worse, it co-stars Beyonce.

Seriously Stevie, and I'm not kidding here: what the fuck is wrong with you??? Why so many atrocious movies, one after the next? Are you using the same agent as Colin Farrell and Jude Law? Are you and Robert De Niro secretly plotting to fuck with us by taking every single role offered to you, and playing a variation on the same character in EACH MOVIE? Your stint as host of the Oscars several years ago stands out as the best thing you've done in 10-15 years. That basically makes you just like Billy Crystal, a far less superior comic talent.

I have not seen the Cheaper by the Dozen disasters. Thank God. However, I think it's safe to say that between the God-awful reviews, the appearance in both movies of Hillary Duff, and (apparently, from what I hear) the fact the funniest scene in either movie involves a wheelchair-bound man losing control of said wheelchair and falling into the ocean, you could probably do a bit better in choosing your scripts. Shopgirl? Was a great movie -- for Claire Danes. You, Steve Martin, played the Woody Allen role of a slightly pervy, emotionally detached, completely unlikable older man who dates girls in their early 20s. There is no trace of humor in your character, a big misstep for an actor whose greatest strength is his off-kilter sense of humor. Bringing Down the House was funny in that "isn't Queen Latifah sassy? Oh, how I love stereotyped black women on screen" sort of way, but you, Steve Martin, had all of your scenes stolen by Eugene Levy. I'm not even going to comment on your other movies of the past 10 years. Because they were ass. And no one saw them.

I complain only because I am a BIG fan of your previous work. L.A. Story is a perfect comedic movie and one of my favorite movies. I'd even go out on a limb and say you are a better actor than Bill Murray, who has usurped your position as "older comedic actor with dark emotional undercurrents" while you were busy taking really shitty roles. Steve -- take a supporting role in a quirky, off-beat independent film. You are not above that. It will probably do your career a world of good. Hell, even blow Wes Anderson if you have to, but just stop making crappy product. And don't listen to De Niro. He'd play the monkey in a live-action version of Curious George if they paid him his $15 million fee. That is all.