From introspective Dr. Mouse contest winner Roy Futterman ("More important, however, is what I learned about myself"):

I’m not the Criticas magazine guy. I’m some psychologist guy. The only other notice I’ve gotten is some old lady who took the time to find my home address and write to me to tell me that I’m not funny. That’s the first “the price of fame” chapter of my future E! True Hollywood Story.

When asked for his caption-contest wisdom, Roy humbly demurred: "You should just let the world know that if they become finalists, they will get insulting email from the elderly."

I can't think of a better reason to enter. This week, there's a drawing of a surfboard executive with your name on it. The New Yorker cartoonists are even psyched about having their work in the spotlight—this according to the sweet Eric Lewis, who has a cartoon in the magazine this week, makes incredible sculptures, and who was kind enough to let me ask him a millon questions last night. Well, psyched except for the (non-present) artist who reportedly quipped, "Hey, let's ask David Remnick if we can have a contest where readers can write in the last paragraph of his article!" You knew it wasn't all unicorns in the garden over there all the time, didn't you? Be all you can be—vote for Jennifer Cain's roaming minutes, give Vice President Jeff Spicoli something to say, and wait for the abusive snail mail to start pouring in. From the little old lady in Dubuque, most likely.

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Other Emdashes caption-contest interviews:

• Robert Gray, winner #106 (“Have you considered writing this story in the third monkey rather than the first monkey?")
• David Kempler, winner #100 (“Don’t tell Noah about the vasectomy.”)
• David Wilkner, winner #99 ("I’d like to get your arrow count down.”)
• Carl Gable, winner #40 ("Hmm. What rhymes with layoffs?”)
• T.C. Boyle, winner #29 (“And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too.")
• Adam Szymkowicz ("Shut up, Bob, everyone knows your parrot's a clip-on"), winner #27, and cartoonist Drew Dernavich interview each other in three parts: One, Clip-On Parrots and Doppelgangers; Two, Adam and Drew, Pt. Two; Three, Clip-On Parrots' Revenge
• Evan Butterfield, winner #15 ("Well, it's a lovely gesture, but I still think we should start seeing other people.")
• Jan Richardson, winner #8 ("He's the cutest little thing, and when you get tired of him you just flush him down the toilet.")